Covid 19 – Life in Lockdown
I’m feeling quite lonely and isolated most of the time right now. I live on my own independently, and whilst I feel that is usually a good thing, because it means I can make my own decisions and life choices, being on lockdown on my own doesn’t feel so great.
I usually have to be careful to look after my mental health as I have anxiety. I find that getting out and about with friends and socialising really helps me to feel relaxed. I am also used to spending a lot of time with my boyfriend.
The lockdown situation is having a bad affect on the way I feel. I feel pretty isolated most days.
My boyfriend lives in a residential care home, and we were not able to choose to lockdown together in my house. We would have chosen to lockdown together had we been allowed to.
I feel frustrated and upset about this because people who don’t have a learning disability can make their own choices about moving in with a partner they don’t live with for the lockdown period.
My boyfriend and I talk a lot on Messenger video every day. We really miss each other, but we try to have a laugh and keep positive. It’s harder not knowing how long this situation will last and how long it will be before we see each other again.
Lockdown has given me a lot of time to reflect on how to be kind to myself. I’ve been trying to focus on the things I enjoy, like painting and photography. These have helped with my mental wellbeing, but I still get wobbly days where my anxiety peaks.
I had problems with my breathing last week. My asthma and anxiety made me feel like I couldn’t breathe properly all day. I rang for medical advice and was told to go to the hospital as my inhaler didn’t seem to be making things any better.
I got a taxi to A&E. It was very frightening being there on my own, especially seeing all the Doctors and nurses wearing masks. When I found out I was in the same area as some suspected Covid 19 patients I felt really scared.
I had to wear a mask myself too, but I felt a bit reassured when a nurse took time to explain to me that the mask was for my own safety. It was so difficult understanding what people were saying with the masks on and I think a health passport would have been a big help to me. I don’t have one yet.
I was at A&E for a few hours before I could go home and collect a new inhaler from my GP. The new inhaler has helped my breathing difficulties, but my anxiety is still bad on some days.
After speaking with my counsellor, I try not to watch the news so often as it makes my anxiety worse. I tend to watch it once a day just to make sure I’m up to date about the rules.
Instead I try to focus more on staying connected with my boyfriend and other people through social media and video apps. My local People First group has a daily schedule of online group activities, which I join in with most days. I also do the art and photography activities which help me to relax on my own.