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Member’s stories: Life in lockdown

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Lucy’s Story

Covid 19 – Life in Lockdown

April 2020

I’m feeling quite lonely and isolated most of the time right now. I live on my own independently, and whilst I feel that is usually a good thing, because it means I can make my own decisions and life choices, being on lockdown on my own doesn’t feel so great.

I usually have to be careful to look after my mental health as I have anxiety. I find that getting out and about with friends and socialising really helps me to feel relaxed. I am also used to spending a lot of time with my boyfriend.

The lockdown situation is having a bad affect on the way I feel. I feel pretty isolated most days.

My boyfriend lives in a residential care home, and we were not able to choose to lockdown together in my house. We would have chosen to lockdown together  had we been allowed to.

I feel frustrated and upset about this because people who don’t have a learning disability can make their own choices about moving in with a partner they don’t live with for the lockdown period.

My boyfriend and I talk a lot on Messenger video every day. We really miss each other, but we try to have a laugh and keep positive. It’s harder not knowing how long this situation will last and how long it will be before we see each other again.

Lockdown has given me a lot of time to reflect on how to be kind to myself. I’ve been trying to focus on the things I enjoy, like painting and photography. These have helped with my mental wellbeing, but I still get wobbly days where my anxiety peaks.

I had problems with my breathing last week. My asthma and anxiety made me feel like I couldn’t breathe properly all day. I rang for medical advice and was told to go to the hospital as my inhaler didn’t seem to be making things any better.

I got a taxi to A&E. It was very frightening being there on my own, especially seeing all the Doctors and nurses wearing masks. When I found out I was in the same area as some suspected Covid 19 patients I felt really scared.

I had to wear a mask myself too, but I felt a bit reassured when a nurse took time to explain to me that the mask was for my own safety. It was so difficult understanding what people were saying with the masks on and I think a health passport would have been a big help to me. I don’t have one yet.

I was at A&E for a few hours before I could go home and collect a new inhaler from my GP. The new inhaler has helped my breathing difficulties, but my anxiety is still bad on some days.

After speaking with my counsellor, I try not to watch the news so often as it makes my anxiety worse. I tend to watch it once a day just to make sure I’m up to date about the rules.

Instead I try to focus more on staying connected with my boyfriend and other people through social media and video apps. My local People First group has a daily schedule of online group activities, which I join in with most days. I also do the art and photography activities which help me to relax on my own.

2 Comments

  1. Hayley Evans

    Lucy, this is such a brave and honest look into your life. It must be so hard without your boyfriend. I have surprised myself how much I have struggled, I was only talking to a neighbour today about the ups and downs and she agreed she was the same. My husband works at the hospital so I am scared he will bring Covid back to our family and the anxiety makes you feel like you have it, I have convinced myself a number of times. Thank you for sharing your story, you are doing so well in the strangest of times. Look after yourself and stay safe, Hayley xx

  2. Celia Watson

    Well said Lucy. I think you’re doing really well, you will come out of this stronger and wiser.Working on your strengths is giving you the positive zibes that help your anxiety.
    Take care .

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